Funny Things to Drink Alcohol Out of

Oktoberfest (wiesn) is here, and when it comes to drinking, always drink responsibly. If you are a heavy drink, please do not drive after drinking, and always have a designated driver. For ladies, always go to the bar in a group and never split up for whatever reason.

😭 😍 😂 55 Funny Non-Swearing Insults And Sarcastic Quotes

How easy is it for someone to drug your drink? In an alarming Crime Watch Daily social experiment, correspondent Andrea Isom helps demonstrate how easily unsuspecting party goers can be "roofied" by a complete stranger. In almost every experiment, the success rate in spiking these unsuspecting ladies are 100%.

Without further ado, here are some funny quotes and sayings about drinking. Like all good things in life, a little bit of something won't harm your health, overdosing on alcohol will damage your liver, drink wisely.

To me, drinking responsibly means don't spill it.
To me 'Drink responsibly' means don't spill it.

I hate when people say that you don't need alcohol to have fun. Well, you don't need running shoes to run but it helps.
I hate when people say that you don't need alcohol to have fun. Well, you don't need running shoes to run but it helps.

Beer doesn't have many vitamins. That's why you need to drink lots of it.
Beer doesn't have many vitamins. That's why you need to drink lots of it.

I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers.
I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers.

Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.

Save the earth, its the only planet with beer.
Save the earth, its the only planet with beer.

Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.

When you accidentally pour too much alcohol into your mixed drink and you have to just deal with it because your mother didn't raise a quitter.
When you accidentally pour too much alcohol into your mixed drink and you have to just deal with it because your mother didn't raise a quitter.

The best beer is an open beer.
The best beer is an open beer.

My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people.
My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so I'm off to find a bar with a mirror.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so I'm off to find a bar with a mirror.

You say alcoholism, I say liver crossfit.
You say alcoholism, I say liver crossfit.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol.
Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol.

Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk.
Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk.

When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic. But when I drink Fanta, no one says I'm fantastic.
When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic. But when I drink Fanta, no one says I'm fantastic.

Alcohol is not the answer. Alcohol is the question. Yes is the answer.
Alcohol is not the answer. Alcohol is the question. Yes is the answer.

Alcohol - Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.
Alcohol – Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.

Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better to be safe than sober.
Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better to be safe than sober.

They say so many people die because of alcohol. Ironically, they never realized how many of them are born because of it.
They say so many people die because of alcohol. Ironically, they never realized how many of them are born because of it.

Vodka may not be the answer but it's worth a shot.
Vodka may not be the answer but it's worth a shot.

I said no to alcohol, but it just doesn't listen.
I said no to alcohol, but it just doesn't listen.

Because alcohol tastes better than tears.
Because alcohol tastes better than tears.

Home is where the wine is.
Home is where the wine is.

And then alcohol said Put that one Facebook, it's hilarious. But alcohol was wrong. So very wrong.
And then alcohol said "Put that one Facebook, it's hilarious". But alcohol was wrong. So very wrong.

A party without alcohol is just a meeting.
A party without alcohol is just a meeting.

They say follow your heart and it led me to alcohol.
They say follow your heart and it led me to alcohol.

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver.
Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver.

May you always have love in your heart and beer in your belly.
May you always have love in your heart and beer in your belly.

Warning! Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can cause pregnancy.
Warning! Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can cause pregnancy.

According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.

I read an article that said if you drink every day you might be an alcoholic... thank God I only drink every night.
I read an article that said if you drink every day you might be an alcoholic… thank God I only drink every night.

Drinking is not a solution, unless we're talking about alcohol.
Drinking is not a solution, unless we're talking about alcohol.

Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains that could have become beer but didn't.
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains that could have become beer but didn't.

Of course size matters. No one wants a small glass of wine.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small glass of wine.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

You put the fun in functioning alcoholic.
You put the fun in functioning alcoholic.

Dear Alcohol, we had a deal that you would make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
Dear Alcohol, we had a deal that you would make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.

Friday is the beginning of my liver's workweek.
Friday is the beginning of my liver's workweek.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent, it dissolves marriages, families and careers.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent, it dissolves marriages, families and careers.

I used to think drinking was bad for me... so I gave up thinking.
I used to think drinking was bad for me… so I gave up thinking.

They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry?
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry?

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.
Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

I know I should give up drinking but I am not a quitter.
I know I should give up drinking but I am not a quitter.

I drink wine because my doctor said I shouldn't keep things bottled up.
I drink wine because my doctor said I shouldn't keep things bottled up.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

If smokers can have smoking breaks, why can't I have drinking breaks.
If smokers can have smoking breaks, why can't I have drinking breaks.

Alcohol helps me listen to your bullshit and pretend to believe it.
Alcohol helps me listen to your bullshit and pretend to believe it.

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Source: https://www.geckoandfly.com/27784/funny-quote-alcohol-beer-wine/

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